Just down a cup of caramel flavored baileys mixed with milk. My type of milk before bed. Hahaha.
Anyways, life is pretty crazy for me these months. :(
As you know i've graduated from Poly in May and i'm not intending to further my study just yet because of finance reasons and also in particular of what i want to study actually. I mean university definitely cost a bomb and why would i wanna waste on something that i'm uncertain of, right? So yea. I've decided to go on and experienced some working life first.
Up till today still have no successful application gotten through, or maybe the companies need a longer time before they get back to me??? Well idk... But yea, been really frustrated with it. I dare say i am now more active in finding jobs and sending my resume and coming up with cover letters and whateversoever shizzle that are necessary. IT IS NOT EASY AT ALL. Regardless how good you are or how not fussy you are over finding a damn job that you're gonna be stuck with it for 2/3 years?
This might be funny? But i actually went to SIA interview just to try!!!!! I mean i have nothing to lose, my family members said i should just go ahead especially my Sister! My friend who got in told that to me too. So after some times i decided to just go ahead because really, i've nothing to lose regardless i got in or not. It is definitely fun! I have never ever thought of going these interviews, i mean being a air strewardess has never even ever cross my mind man. But it is really nerve-wracking and pretty interesting! HAHAHA. Despite not getting through the first round, i still enjoyed myself. Just so you know when i went for the interview mostly i was just thinking about the experience, it really didn't matter i got in or not, of course if i get in that would mean a bonus to me actually. Hahaha. P/S: i tried twice already! I went the second try because i thought the first time i totally was in shocked and in like panic state 200% of the time so i thought that wasn't me and i should give myself another try. Hehehe. The only thing that bothers me is that, they wouldn't share with you why didn't you make it. I mean if i know why i will know where to improve myself on.
I regretted not planning my after graduate life earlier. Why? Because i initially thought i was really gonna be continuing my studies however after certain talks from different humans, nah. Life is not always as you thought it is. It won't fall into pieces that easily. Really.
I've been pressurised by friends around me about what am i doing with life now is kinda another shizzle i have to deal with. I don't need to deal with them but like they said, people won't stop talking shit about you, unless actions being shown. As we all know Actions speak louder than words so regardless of what i have for them to hear me out, it will still be useless. All i need is a little more faith and push but seems like these months have had them thinking i've been doing nothing but wasting time on odd jobs and getting fat. Not till i get a damn job will they stop. Like i mentioned it is not easy. But they won't know.
So hence, feeling pretty negative inside and out recently and that's just not me man. Of course, i've a few to be there giving me small pep-talks. It might not be much but it just makes me feel all better and encouraged. Maybe different humans have different ways to potray themselves but some words just hurt because they aren't in my shoes and i am the only one will be hurt, not them.
I really am trying harder already, helping my Papa bit by bit in his job. Hahaha Marine is a pretty interesting industry. I've been staying home so much recently too because i want to avoid people because i really really have enough of people saying i'm doing nothing in my life and wasting away when i'm mother fucking not. Although staying home too much is too much to handle. Hahahahahaha. Like literally, i can't believe myself too, i don't even remember when was my last time staying home for as long as i can man. Hahahaha.
It's nearly 2am and another week is here again, and another week of my trying to get fitter and sending all my shizzle out into all sorts of company. Oh god, but it's pretty fun because i get to come across different kind of companies. Hahaha.
Ohya, the haze is really annoying and getting into my nerves, literally. Family having phlegmy throats or blocked nose. Ugh. -___- It really ain't pleasant at all. So frustrated i can't.
That's all for this post i guess.
I wanna restart................ nightzxczcxz
