I'm selfish, I am mean and i don't think for anybody at all. No one deserved such person. I am pure fucked up from the start and will always be.
Be alone, stay alone, do your shit and try to survive every single day.
To stay strong I need to be my worst self.
To stop the tears, inflict pain on myself. Everytime it falls, hit them hard, real fucking hard.
To stop feeling certain emotions, I can't, I just need to stop everything and feel nothing. Nothing at all. It sounds easy but it's not at all. Feeling nothing is the worst u can ever imagine because when something is triggered everything will come rushing through u to the point u can't cry anymore tears and u will just drop.
To stop thinking, I certainly can't, but I just gotta act like I am not thinking. Like everything is actually normal when it's not at all.
To sleep, I can't, to try and sleep maybe I can try, importantly stay strong and don't cry to sleep, if I were to cry I know what to do to myself. Just try closing those damn bloody eyes and shut up.
To say such things was hard but no one knows exactly. Life goes on Mandy, it still fucking goes on so shut the fuck up.
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